How will be my life after the quarantine?!
What will it be like when this situation is finally over?!
I asked myself these questions many times in these strange and different days.
Some have brought doubts as dense as clouds that suddenly darken the sky in a hot summer day. Other days, however, showed up at my door with decisive and convincing answers, like trampolines from which to jump as far as possible, closing the eyes and swelling the chest to get air.
The difficulty is finding a balance in this continuous change of thoughts, moods, desires, hopes.
Even more difficult if a part of me, reasonable and aware, struggles daily with the other half, the irrational and impulsive one.
Before this period took over, wiping out much of what has been to date, I had worked hard to build a road on which to direct my future. The last months were dedicated to projects that are the fruit of ideas, passions and skills. Work that was just bearing fruit, bringing the first results.
Basically there has always been a lot of awareness: what I was doing, although new and with still undefined traits, had solid roots and represented the consequence of a personal and professional growth process.
A startup in the world of tourism, that of sporting events. The idea of sharing habits and traditions with the aim of transforming moments into memories, faces into friendships and, above all, emotions into unforgettable experiences.
“Put your money in this young startup, these guys deserve it” said Toon, a Belgian gentleman from Antwerp, who came to Italy alone to attend a football match; “Have Fan is a brilliant project, I totally recommend it,” added Irina from Romania. Supporters, fans, tourists. United by the desire to know better what characterizes the life of many of us in every corner of the planet: the love for sport and the stories it tells.
Ours was intended to be a different cultural journey than usual, straight to the heart of each new place visited. A way to get to know more deeply a country or a city, beyond the reality very often made flat and undefined by mass tourism.
It all sounds so far and anachronistic today, only two months later.
Yet to get to this (starting point) we had fought and invested a lot, in ourselves first of all. Creating a business project is a very difficult thing, I learned it on my skin. It is because, of course, it must deal with the real world: an idea in the head has no strength without the consent of those who can make it concrete, sharing it every day. It is because it cannot be addressed alone. And not even with the wrong people. It is even more so, because in one’s personal path to transform it into reality, you mainly encounter obstacles, barriers and reefs. These have the form of bureaucratic limits and, much more subtle and harmful, of human distrust.
Again, keeping the balance between the reasonable and the irrational part that live inside me was not easy. In no way.
But it is also thanks to this division that in the whirlwind of such eventful months, the exact opposite of what my life has become today, I found the strength and the desire to take back something that has always been part of me.
In the days of despair or anger, when things went in the wrong direction and there seemed to be no solution, I thought again about that never really fulfilled desire to live my life outside these walls, on some mountain trail, through unspoiled landscapes, immersed and surrounded by unique panoramas. And why not, take the chance to work on something I’ve always been hooked on: to become a guide.
For some form of self-protection, this time I decided that I should have deepened those knowledge used, up to now, only in periods of leisure and relaxation. I don’t know if it was destined for me to find myself at this point. It was certainly not something I had planned. Not even something I had thought of. Like the pandemic, it presented itself domineering, somehow walking the streets that populate the twists and turns of my head.
The last 2 years have passed by spending energy and strength to achieve an ambitious project, to turn a dream into reality. It was not just a business idea for me, I never looked at my work mainly in that sense. There was a lot behind it: sharing a passion, the ambition to create something of value for me and for others, the desire to change people’s lives, even if for a few hours. In a tiny part I did it. I’m not throwing in the towel right now. However, I realize how difficult it will be to pick up where everything stopped two months ago.
Time is by no means a negligible factor in life.
Sometimes I have the feeling that my watch runs faster than the others’. Now that much of what I built has collapsed like a house of cards, this perception is even more marked.
What solution now, what path, where to go.
I have always considered my days spent in nature as the only element able to put things in order when there is just confusion. Something necessary and essential to charge my batteries and restore my soul. Walking to lighten any weight accumulated on my shoulders and in my mind. Getting lost, to forget the meaning that I have mistakenly attributed to time too many times.
This period will end sooner or later. In that exact moment, it will take away much of what was before. And perhaps, as it happens just before getting in the saddle, in that same instant it will open the horizon to paths that up to then had only been imagined.
I set off…